I can see in myself something that I want to ‘dissolve’. I sometimes don’t give my family the love & attention they need. I find it easier to give strangers or acquaintances my full attention without distractions. Yet with my family I can be stressed, pressed for time & on my phone. I have talks with myself about how I’m going to spend my time & how I want to be supportive and present….but then I allow something from the outside world steal me away from my family.
I have experiences outside the home that I enjoy….deep conversations, unconditional love, compassion & intention…..and all without any attachment. I want more and more of these kinds of experiences at home with my family. I want to reserve some of my energy for family. How have I gone so long not seeing this? How have I gone so long loving them with a limp? Im not going to make myself feel guilty or let the ego tell me what a terrible mom & wife I am going to hunt down any limiting beliefs, emotional bean bags & release that old energy....I want to feel present in all aspects of my life.
Question (mind): Why is it easier for me to give love, compassion, time & intentions to strangers/ acquaintances instead of my family?
Inner Voice: attention. There are some mental stories that you are not wanting to give attention to. These mental stories are creating a block. You are not wanting to face discomfort in your family. Strangers / acquaintances have less mental stories. You are creating mental stories based on thoughts you have had about experiences in the past. You cannot avoid discomfort. You cannot withhold love & compassion because you are not comfortable. That is conditional. Love is unconditional. As I, you, Inga, write & reads these words you know the feeling & disconnect that is happening. It’s a choice. Slow down. Make peace….be peace. Practice non-attachment with outcomes involving family. You have practiced it well with strangers and people in your circle. But you have not practiced it in your home. The quote 'Family First' is a judgment. Replace this with..'Whoever is in front of you is first'. This will ensure that the present moment will unfold with richness, joy & abundance...not matter who is in front of you.
You are so loved!